Hold Onto Your Jowl Horses – 16 New Dog Breed Names That Will Leave You Howling
New discoveries in biology are often heralded with carefully crafted latin names, or nomenclature befitting the great minds of our time. And while Linnean taxonomy holds a crucial role in our animalian knowledge base, it serves absolutely no purpose in coming up with some new names for our favorite friends.
There’s nothing wrong with the old names, of course. It’s just that Canis lupus familiars isn’t exactly familiar with any of them, and neither are we.
For the sake of efficiency, evolutionary progress, and your enjoyment, the Animal Rescue Site submits the following new dog names into the codex caninus.
Ask any physicist and they’ll tell you, mass equals volume times density. It’s hard to leave such a goofy grin out of the equation, though!
Blonde and Loving Its
It’s hard to feel down around such a bright beauty like this!
Do you even know how to jowl?
They’ll get on your lawn, and they’ll ask you to get off it.
Old Fashioned Ghosts
Slender. Spooky. Sentimental.
With one foot more, the party still roars.
What We Have When Bears Die Outs
Train them to catch salmon and we’ll be OK.
Ever vigilant, ever slobbery.
They’re not furniture, they’re FURniture.
Pawntene Pro Vs
A lapdog of luxury. Follow enclosed manufacturer’s instructions for conditioning and shampoo requirements.
Even just one is enough to come at you from all directions!
Ears perked. The only way to live.
Cleveland Brown Bags
As floppy as they come, with a little extra room to spare!
Spheres of Influence
Look into my eyes, human…
To put things bluntly, this is a cute bomb that’s primed to explode with wet kisses.
You Will Soon Learn To Appreciate Mes
One of the most corrupt and vile gangsters in the universe.
Whether or not these dog names will stick, only time will tell. For those more interested in cat facts, follow the button below and learn about your feline’s secret plans to kill you with a cold shoulder.
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